Sex and the Raised Eyebrow The Importance of Sex Education

         
    Why do we blush whenever the issue of sex is mentioned?  I think it's because by its nature it's a very personal part of us. It's that intimate part of ourselves. Of course, not everyone thinks this way. I was viewing a page on  Instagram yesterday, and someone in the comment section of a very popular page said --and I quote- "Abeg e sex na like handshake". This statement cheapens the sexual act and reduces it to nothing but a handshake, and robs it of all its glory. Talking about sex makes some people very uneasy. It's a subject matter that some have come to avoid totally and shy away from. It ought not to be. Our sexuality is part of our makeup, and just like the other aspects of our makeup, it ought to be expressed in a natural and healthy way. Bestiality, rape, and pedophilia are some very unnatural expressions of sexuality. We have to pay attention to our sexuality and nurture it, so we can become more balanced individuals.
    My sexuality began to surface as early as nine. I  remember one afternoon I had just come back from school, and I began daydreaming (I'm very imaginative). I can't remember what I was thinking about and I realized that I  had an erection. Scared the living daylights outta me. I rushed to the bathroom to douse it with water to quench it. I would later learn to conceal an erection, including the ones caused by raised skirt hems, and plunging necklines, and the spontaneous ones. The first graphic description of sexual intercourse was on a hot afternoon when I was on the school bus, and a student in his senior year used the illustration of a pencil and a sharpener. I immediately realized that my sex was indeed shaped like a pencil. Due to very natural processes, I assure you it no longer bears any resemblance a pencil.
    Because of my very inquisitive nature, my sex education was not as slow as that of some of my peers I liked to read a lot, and so one day stumbled upon a book in my father's library (one that would forever change my life),: "Everywoman, A gynecological guide to life". This book took a largely scientific approach to sex.     It was basically about women and their physiologies. It also included some chapters about their anatomy.  I read voraciously the chapters relating to sexual intercourse. And at a very young age, I had already absorbed and understood basic concepts including foreplay, orgasms, positions, oral sex e.t.c. By the time I was about thirteen years old, I had already understood the basic differences between a man and a woman's anatomy, and how they affected lovemaking. I realized that a woman required significantly more time than a man to warm up and that they needed an emotional connection so that their sexual experience could be more intense and meaningful. I  like to think that  I was really lucky that I didn't have to guess about these things for too long.
    Some years later in college, some of my colleagues stumbled upon the same book, and while they were expressing their fascination with the book, I was asking what edition the book was. They showed particular interest in the chapter that dealt with the six basic sexual positions- a concept I had grasped almost a decade ago. I was also very surprised by their lack of knowledge about this topic. But then again the reason that they knew so little was that we had different natures. You see, I was quite sensitive and I had always sought to avoid people as much as I  could, and books had always been my solace. I would read for hours on end.  I would Imagine what I was reading absorbing it, and then imagine situations where I could apply what I had read.  My mind was basically a beehive. Still is.
    A lot of people don't know,  about a lot of things. Little things that should have been passed onto us by the previous generation. But the people of that generation were not as exposed as we are, hence they couldn't give us a sexual education. They had no access to the internet. They also had no access to the information that we do today. Our generation is generally a more enlightened one. Also in African societies, because of the way we are raised, it is a taboo to speak of such things. Culture is one of the things that has most certainly blocked such vital information from reaching us. They somehow expected us to figure out these things on our own (and we did ).
    Some years ago, my mum jokingly said that if I got any girl pregnant,  I  would be the one responsible for her welfare. I was surprised that she didn't teach me about these things, yet she expected that I would know about it.
    The basic complaint among women is that their partners don't satisfy them. Like I said before, this is because a man can go from 0-100 in three seconds, while a woman takes a lot more time than that, as well as a generous helping of the love feeling to her to get to cloud 9. Males owe it to their partners to ensure that they are satisfied just the same as they are. It really doesn't take much for a man to be satisfied,  just a few thrusts, and he's there. He also has to focus on pleasuring her as well. This is the only chivalrous thing to do.
    For those not as fortunate to have had a great pool of information as I did, all hope is not lost. We live in the digital age, and a lot of information is at our fingertips. Literally, a click away. So go ahead and expand your knowledge base and learn as much as you possibly can. I would recommend these two books. "SEX: A man's guide", and "The joys of sex" by Alex Comfort. I find the former to be a more enjoyable read. The first book targets the males, while the second one is much more general. In fact, I believe it is the men who have to take these matters seriously because  I do not think women can have a fulfilling sexual experience without help from their male partners.
    I believe that both sexes should devote time and effort to increase their knowledge about these things. It can be only rewarding. Our Sexuality is part of our makeup, and as such, we should embrace it, cherish it, nurture it, keep it, and express it in the most  secure confine. Marriage.