NICHOLAS

                                                               

You see Nicholas and I have always been at loggerheads. Right from when we first met. 

Our rivalry has always had this subtle undertone of an intangible war.

Nicholas was the quintessential alpha male. He is quite well to do, very handsome, and has the body of Apollo himself. He literally had all the girls fall head over heels for him. Then I came along. While I’m not so well off, and I don’t have the body of Apollo, I’m incredibly funny and charismatic and know how to light up a group.

Nicholas immediately saw me as a threat. Whenever I would crack jokes that made everyone fall on their bellies holding their sides. In a bid to undermine my attempts at being jocular, he would just be meh. I would try to be friendly with him, and he would be unyielding and cold as ice. He would always try to put me down in a subtle way, and whenever he would try, I wouldn’t give him the time of day, and we would go into some sort of bullfight. We had to keep it subtle so we wouldn’t be seen as immature.

Whenever exams approached, I and the boys would go to the lecture halls at night to read, because the power supply in the living quarters outside of school is erratic, to say the least, and we would sometimes return to our hostels around 4:00am. If you said that it was a dangerous thing to do, you’d be spot on.

I don’t want you to imagine asphalted roads and streetlights, instead, conjure up images of  Mother-nature in all her glory. Bushes packed tightly together, dirt roads, chirping birds, and all sorts of strange noises that all kinds of critters make. If you’re very lucky you might sometimes hear a dialogue between fellow critters. And because we were in the harmattan, as you can imagine, there was usually a fog that covered everywhere. Very spooky.

One night we were coming back from class around 2:30 am, We were scared shitless because it was so dark, and we weren’t sure what we would encounter that morning. We 

had heard a lot of stories.

There were two routes we could take to get home. The first was somewhat open with the vegetation not as dense, but of the two, it was the longer route. The other one was not quite as long as the former, but the vegetation was dense (tightly) packed and one couldn’t see quite clearly the road in front of one. In fact, the vegetation was so tightly packed that we would have to part the bushes with our hands so they wouldn’t go into our eyes.

When we reached the junction where we would choose the route to take, and I suggested  that we take the more open route, as I felt it was much safer, but my arch-enemy reared his ugly head like a snake, and antagonized me (unsurprisingly), accusing me of being a know all, and discouraged the others from taking  my suggestion. Arguing it shouldn’t be every time I should be listened to.

He took the lead and everyone followed…we were all scared (of course), and I tried to bring up small talk. It didn’t work because everyone was tense, and mindful of their step, lest they carelessly step on a snake.

As we proceeded,  a very nasty thought popped into my head. I thought, why not teach Nicholas a lesson….As they walked ahead, I picked up a heavy stone and judged the distance so it would have an effect that made it seem like something was coming straight out of the bushes towards them. And fast! .It had exactly the desired effect.

The ensuing pandemonium was gratifying in a way that cannot be described. Nicholas was off like a bullet train. He ran off as fast as his legs could carry him. They all tumbled and fell over each other in a bid to escape the evil. It was hilarious. I couldn’t hold my laughter.I laughed so hard my ribs became sore, and I cried real tears. After they had gotten a safe distance and were trying to ascertain what the danger was, they then noticed that I was laughing uncontrollably. Then it dawned on them what was really happening.

He fumed. We had a good laugh though.

These days, whenever I suggest things, my crew is much more willing to follow what I suggest.

That’ll learn em!