How To Know if You are a Sapiosexual

                        

 It’s a new word that has fast become trendy and ubiquitous. Sapiosexual. When I first came across the word, I assumed it was a word that defined a person’s sexual orientation. On the contrary, it’s a term that defines a part of a person’s sexuality, which is what turns a person on, or what one finds to be the most attractive trait of another person. Sapiosexual is a neologism word coined from the Latin root words sapiens, meaning wise, and sexaulis, relating to the sexes.

When I discovered the meaning of the word, it was an ‘aha!’ moment for me, because I have always wondered why all of the girls I have always found to be attractive, always had a streak of intelligence running through them. My first crush Stella Ohia, is a perfect example. One day on the school bus, she was conversing with another student about Sebum, on what parts of the skin it could be found, and the importance of washing those parts well. (I also particularly remember her reference to the area behind the ears). And I remember thinking to myself “Wow! She’s so amazing!” I was about ten years old at the time! Another time on the bus (we talked a lot on the school bus en route to school), and she was conversing with a female senior and I heard the word tampon. I promptly asked her what it was, and she refused to disclose the meaning to me. Not letting anything deter me, I went on to unlock the mysteries of the tampon.

Intelligence in a woman has always been one of those qualities that make a woman interesting to me. I always like to see a certain (shall we say thirst?) for knowledge. A woman who knows things, and always wants to know  things about herself, and the world around her,will always impress me. Of course this (thirst) cannot be feigned. It’s a precise blend of social background, personality and culture. Intelligence, is innate. It often comes naturally. As much as I’m an introverted guy and have a very inquisitive nature , the  opportunities my father gave me while I was growing, is the reason  that I’m so inclined towards books. I remember one afternoon he came home with a bag of hardcover books. I was already trembling with excitement. The bag contained not one, not two but ten books! The young folk shelf of books. This is the single most influential volume of books I’ve ever read.

I’m always impressed by a woman who is knowledgeable. A typical example was my supervisor. She is a beautiful fair complexioned smart woman. And she would sometimes speak about a topic she knew something about-and she did know quite a few things- with such confidence, enthusiasm and conviction, that I would always let out a loud internal whoop every time she spoke like that! I can’t deny it. I love smart women.

When you label yourself a sapiosexual, you subtly hint at your own intelligence. Which-depending on the person- may stem  from a weak attempt to insinuate one’s intelligence ,or it could stem from a recognition and confidence of one’s true nature or abilities. On some instagram Bios, some people who don’t look very smart themselves, label themselves as Sapio. But who am I to judge? So long as you know the meaning of the word…

SIGNS YOU’RE A SAPIOSEXUAL

How do you know you are a sapiosexual? If hearing your partner discuss a topic he/she is knowledgeable about with passionate abandon makes you very  excited, you just might be a sapio.

If you just cannot tolerate bad grammar, like me, you most probably are a sapio. One other girl I liked (Olamma), would constantly correct me anytime I texted her “Hope you’re fine?”, and she would give me textbook rules that I violate by including the question mark at the end of that sentence. I really think it’s weird to be turned on by comments about the question mark?

Also, if you are more impressed by a person’s overall knowledge level, rather than their looks, or how much affluence they control, you are probably a sapio too. Despite my obsession with buxom fair skinned beauties, I consistently find that, an intelligent smart knowledgeable woman can pique my interest, far more any brainless buxom fair skinned beauty.

If you find that you are also attracted to a person who knows some  things about a lot of things, that might also be a pointer. As far as I’m concerned, it’s not necessary for the other person to understand nuclear physics, it’s always just enough to have a general knowledge about things.

Dr Nikki Martinez Psy.D, LCPC, explains:”This is someone who is happy in a relationship that is more of true minds than physical. They would often prefer a good conversation over a good make-out session. If they've met their equal, this can be a great fit”. You might find that you enjoy a meaningful conversation. This doesn’t imply that you don’t like to express yourself physically (I like to express  myself physically), it just means that you find intellectual meaningful interaction as satisfying, if not more than physical contact.

If you find yourself fascinated by someone whenever they say something smart, or insightful, that sense of wonderment is a sign that you are a sapiosexual.

The other girl I really liked, Olamma, is a polyglot, a dancer par excellence, and a student of high caliber. Why wouldn’t I be fascinated?

Admittedly, people like I describe above or multi talented people like that are rare. It’s not every day you run into someone who is a polyglot, as not everyone had parents that invested in the education of their wards. And for me this poses a unique challenge. I tend to view other women who do not share my dispositions as petty chattering monkeys. I get nauseated, when I notice someone who is just concerned about how they look, without paying attention to the world around them, how it works, and why it works the way it does. Of course I’m learning to appreciate other people for their uniqueness, and those little things that make them special. As much as I like to toot my own horn, I’m also quick to admit that a high intelligence Quotience (IQ) is not the ultimate, or the only thing that makes people special.

People are valuable regardless of their level of IQ. Some others have a high level of EQ (A measure of emotional intelligence), that helps them interact with people, and understand them. A senior colleague at the financial institution I where I worked was a quintessential people’s person. She was the life of the section I worked, and she understood intuitively people dynamics and interpersonal relationships. She liked to use humor to diffuse tension whenever some form of conflict arose. She would tactfully find a way to diffuse tension whenever it was present. That is inherently an incredible display of a high EQ.

 Being a sapiosexual is not as much of a big deal as people make it. It is just one of those things that add variety to the already varied complexities of the human nature.

Are you a sapiosexual? If so, you are lucky. Are you unsapio? If so,you are very lucky because you are special too!